FIRST PERSON | When I learned to see cancer as my friend and teacher, I started to really live again | 24CA News
This First Person column is the expertise of Maria Carmona, who lives along with her husband, Miguel Salinas, in Calgary. They every wrote their story of Maria’s most cancers journey. Read Miguel’s piece right here.
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In the darkish, darkish days following the news my ovarian most cancers had come again, individuals advised me I have to be a warrior. Instead, I simply cried out to God.
And maybe he did ship a solution. Because just a few days after my prayer, I used to be scrolling by Facebook and located an commercial for a program to assist most cancers sufferers discover holistic therapeutic. I scrolled previous, then went again, then thought: “Why not?”
Cancer is a solo journey. Everyone does it in a different way. But that is my story of how I realized to not battle it however to see most cancers as a buddy. Yes, a buddy — one thing to show me a helpful lesson about learn how to actually stay.
I’ll take you again to the start. It was a heat day in September 2017 when my household physician mentioned the phrases: “You have cancer.”
He sat me down in his workplace, and even in the present day as I feel again, my coronary heart beats quick, my fingers shake and my eyes water. I heard the news and began to cry, “my sons, my sons.”
My youngest was 11 then. I wept so arduous, I could not concentrate.
The first spherical of therapy was 18 cycles of chemotherapy. But it labored, my physique was clear. I believed I received.
Then after 10 months, my most cancers got here again, and the second expertise with chemotherapy was worse than ever. I used to be in disbelief, offended and really dissatisfied — I believed I have to be doing one thing flawed.
But that is once I purchased that program on the web and slowly, slowly my anger turned to hope.
This program had a holistic strategy — it did not simply give attention to weight loss plan and workout routines, it challenged me to heal my soul, my coronary heart and my thoughts.
Meditation and reiki helped me calm my nervousness, hear my coronary heart and keep within the current. Yoga helped me to really feel regular once more after chemo left my physique numb. But probably the most tough and finally necessary half was emotional. I needed to settle for the analysis moderately than continuously battle it. For that, I used mantras.
The mantras got here from my therapist. She prompt I write these in a particular pocket book and gave me the primary one: “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can and wisdom to know the difference.”
I discovered extra mantras and inspiration within the writings of Louise Hay, herself a most cancers affected person and writer on optimistic considering. After a yr, I had stuffed 4 notebooks and began to choose my very own mantras, one every day.
But the actual breakthrough got here one morning as I used to be sitting within the kitchen, in search of a brand new mantra. In the again of my thoughts, I heard “Dear cancer.”
It was a shock. How may I even assume “Dear cancer?” Why was I saying that? I started to cry.
Without even noticing, I began to write down: “Dear cancer, I bless you with love and I release you and let you go out of my life. Thank you for what you have taught me.”
When I stuffed a complete web page, I felt relieved. The heavy weight in my shoulders lifted. Then I began to snigger. I used to be crying and laughing on the identical time.
After that morning, I began to see most cancers as my buddy — not one thing to battle however one thing with a objective, one thing that got here to show me once more what life is about. It jogs my memory that I’m stronger than I believed, courageous and I’ve lovely causes to get up on daily basis.
I say all this, however I need to be clear that I additionally worth western drugs. In my household in Mexico there are seven medical doctors between my brother, cousins and uncles, and my mother and father ran a pharmacy for greater than 25 years. I consider in western drugs; I consider in analysis.
During the entire time I used to be trying to find holistic therapeutic, I additionally adopted my medical doctors’ suggestions for brand spanking new medical therapies and continued with chemotherapy.
I’m taking one of the best of two worlds and am grateful for each.
I nonetheless have darkish days and side-effects from the medication and, 5 years after my analysis, I’m nonetheless in therapy. But I prefer to assume that I’m a most cancers survivor as a result of I’m again to feeling like myself once more.
I’m again at work. I get pleasure from being outdoors, I’m maintaining a healthy diet (however not too wholesome) and most days I’ve an enormous smile simply because I’m right here.
Telling your story
As a part of our ongoing partnership with the Calgary Public Library, CBC Calgary is operating in-person writing workshops to assist group members telling their very own tales. Read extra from this workshop, run out of the Central Library in partnership with the Women’s Centre of Calgary.
To discover out extra, counsel a subject or volunteer a group group to assist host, e mail CBC producer Elise Stolte or go to cbc.ca/tellingyourstory.
