A father’s grief: podcast explores Humboldt Broncos tragedy, suicide, pain of losing a son

Note: This story comprises references to suicide. If you or a cherished one is in danger, Talk Suicide Canada will be reached at (833) 456-4566, or name Kids Help Phone at 1 (800) 668-6868. More assets out there right here.

The gap in Chris Joseph’s coronary heart isn’t getting any smaller – and he’s unsure it ever will.

It’s the ache and grief of shedding his teenage boy. It’s the absence he feels every single day.

It’s been 5 years for the reason that former NHL participant misplaced his son Jaxon within the Humboldt Broncos bus crash in Saskatchewan on April 6, 2018.

Jaxon was among the many 10 junior hockey gamers killed after a truck went via a cease signal and collided with the group bus. Two coaches, a group athletic therapist, a statistician, radio announcer and the bus driver had been additionally killed.

“For those people that are listening, this is our fifth-year anniversary. We are not better. There’s still an emptiness,” stated Joseph.

Joseph is not any stranger to interviews in regards to the traumatic dying of his son, who was 20 years outdated when he handed away.

But now he’s opening up in a two-part podcast for an in-depth dialog about grief from a father’s perspective.

“And then for me it’s onto year six,” he instructed CityNews. “And it ain’t changing. I do get better, I still smile and laugh a lot, but there’s a hole there that’s never going away. What I like to say is that this hole isn’t getting smaller, I’m just building up a whole bunch of muscle around that hole to try to cope through the day.”

The podcast, which Joseph calls a dialog out within the open, isn’t just about his loss. Sitting throughout from him is Kyle Dubé, the host of the “Relentless” podcast.

“Me and Kyle, we’re just a couple of dads sharing our grief,” stated Joseph. “I think that meant a lot to me knowing that we’re just having a real frank conversation.”

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When Dubé misplaced his son Luke to suicide two years in the past, Joseph was there to help him. Even the timing appeared fateful; Luke died April 5, 2021 – at some point earlier than the third anniversary of the deadly Broncos bus crash.

“Realistically, it’s a conversation that Chris and I have had many times,” stated Dubé. “We were hockey dads, lacrosse dads, buddies prior to his son Jaxon dying. And after my son Luke died, we bonded as grief brothers, if you will. We don’t want that, we would much rather still just be hockey dads, lacrosse dads, buddies.”

While they know no two journeys are the identical, the fathers hope the podcast episodes create a useful resource to speak brazenly about grief.

“Suicide truthfully was just a shock of a lifetime for us,” Dubé. “We didn’t see massive red flags with Luke’s mental health. Luke was down for a couple few weeks prior to him taking his life. And there was a darkness within him that we obviously didn’t see, did not share with us.”

The Dubés maintain an annual “Be a Light for Luke” – a strategy to share their love for his or her boy whereas highlighting the complexities of suicide.

“Luke had a brain attack,” stated Dubé. “Your lungs will fail you, your coronary heart may fail you, your kidneys may fail. Luke’s mind failed him.

“Talking about suicide, about mental health and about all these things, the more we talk about it, the more normal it will become. And the more normal it becomes I believe the easier it will be to talk about.”

Advocating for change in trucking business 

Meanwhile the Josephs are persevering with to advocate for modifications within the trucking business, regardless of lag. Joseph is an advocate and spokesperson with Safer Roads Canada.

“There’s days when I feel like I’m just banging my head against the wall and I’m getting nowhere, but something keeps pushing me to keep advocating for it,” he said. “Me personally, I think it’s Jaxon. I think it’s my son that’s pushing me a little bit. So I’m not giving up on that one quite yet.”

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Asked about modifications in Alberta, Joseph says not sufficient has been performed.

“It’s a real point of frustration actually,” he added. “You know, like a lot of things, in the beginning we jumped in both feet and we tried to get some change. And everybody was emotional, and some things happened, like the MELT program – the Mandatory Entry Level Training – but that’s just a little drop in the bucket. There needs to be so much more.”

Both fathers need grief to be higher understood.

‘Tell your kids you like them’

“An open frank conversation, you know everybody copes different ways,” stated Joseph. “And I’ve even coped a number of the conventional methods: I went to consuming, I struggle with my partner, I do all that stuff. If someone else can see what we’re going via after which assume, you recognize, perhaps I shouldn’t maintain consuming, that helps.

“Most families in Canada when they remember the Humboldt Broncos crash, they immediately cling to their own children. And you know I wouldn’t say it’s any different now. Tell your children you love them every chance you get. Tell your wife, your husband, everybody, you love them, grandma and grandpa, just say it.”

“There is a big gap in men, fathers, speaking about their grief,” added Dubé. “Again, I think that society is shifting a bit. With the real encouragement of men being more vulnerable.”

The first episode of the “Relentless” podcast that includes Joseph is already streaming. The second one, which dives into methods individuals can help somebody grieving, comes out April 11.

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